With divorce a common tendency in our society today, a lifelong and successful marriage is looked upon as impossible. Truly, I believe it is a rarity. However, it is not impossible to achieve. Staying married “until death do us part” and making it successful is definitely doable even in our day and time. Let’s look at 10 secrets to encourage this mission.
1. Do things together. Make the time to be together, to do things together. Whether it’s something as simple as eating a favorite meal out, or more involved like a weekend getaway, make the time to embrace each other’s company. Don’t let yourselves get so busy you push this aside. And don’t make plans with friends first over time with your spouse. Our marriage needs this together time to be prosperous.
2. Compliment one another. It should be a desire of our heart to build up our spouse and point out their good stuff. Tell them how good they are at something or how handsome/beautiful they are. We should be looking for opportunities to compliment them daily. How special we feel in their eyes when we hear them telling us how special we are to them.
3. Work out your disagreements. Do not sweep differences or concerns “under the rug,” so to speak. Put them on the table and talk about all concerns. Working out the differences will avoid putting up walls and boundaries. Bring important issues to your spouse and discuss it in love.
4. Prove your love. It’s important that we are verbally expressing our love to our spouse, but we also need to show it. This can be done through small gifts, cards, love letters, special activities, and so on. We need to be intentional here and demonstrate our love to our husband/wife. Even reaching for their hand to hold sends a sweet message of love to them.
5. Pray for each other. This one secret I can’t stress enough. We need to be praying for our spouses daily and often. Not only do we need to be praying for them, but we need to be praying with them. Being an intercessor for our spouse is one of the best ways we can encourage a lifelong, successful marriage. And don’t forget to make time to pray together. The more you do this, the more comfortable it becomes. Prayer also assists in making God the center of your marriage. After all, He is the glue that will keep you together through thick and thin. Keep Him there! “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
6. Laugh together. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say. Well, I agree. A sense of humor is a benefit to a happy marriage. Laughter supports emotional well-being and puts us in a good mood. How can you be mad or sad if you have a smile on your face? Laugh with your spouse often.
7. Don’t skip the intimacy. God created us to desire our spouse. “And they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Physical intimacy strengthens a union and unites us to our spouse as one. One before God just as He designed it. This part of marriage offers reassurance that both spouses are still wanted and desired which encourages them to stay together. When intimacy is skipped, there is a void in the relationship, so make the time to be intimate with your spouse. Read 1 Corinthians 7:5.
8. Work hard at it. When the tough stuff comes along, we need to not let it trip up our marriage. It’s a guarantee that trials will come, but it’s how we deal with them that makes or breaks a marital relationship. It is essential that married people get through their tribulations together, as a team, as one. This only builds the marriage and makes it stronger. Share your heart, listen to your spouse, and pray through it together. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)
9. Stand united. It’s hard to be united if we’re on opposite sides. Standing united does not mean we agree on everything; however, it does mean we compromise and find common ground when we have different opinions or ideas than our spouse. Sometimes we will just have to agree to disagree for the better interest of our marriage. Find a way to live with your differences to bring about a united union. “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3)
10. Say “I love you” every day. Since we never know what our day will hold, we should never forget these three little words. Enough said.
These ten secrets can only encourage a strong, faithful, lifelong, and successful marriage unto the glory of God and for our good. There is joy in knowing you are intentionally working on staying married through all life’s situations, whether happy or challenging. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
I’ve been married to my Love for over 23 years and we have been blessed with four precious children with one sitting at the feet of Jesus. I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ and serve a mighty God. I am a blogger at What Joy Is Mine who enjoys photography, reading, scrapbooking, quilting, crafting, and a healthy walk outdoors. I also love being a wife and mom. I am thankful daily and humbled that the Lord chose me to be His child.
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