Your Heart and Mouth Are Connected

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“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearer.” Ephesians 4:29

Knowing that this month’s focus is on the importance of Godly communication, I didn’t think of the act of sitting across from my husband and talking to him.

My mind went to my actual posture and speech toward him. Is my communication corrupt or edifying?

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

I’m sure that no Christian husband or wife wants to think that their heart or words could be evil.

Communication starts in the heart and thoughts. What are you thinking about when you think about your spouse?

You may not say anything verbally ill (more on that in a minute), but do you know that your body language communicates everything else?

Let’s talk about that body language for a moment, shall we?

I’ll be fair and examine myself in this also.

I will also admit that the list below will seem a little “pouty” in nature, but it’s what happens.

Do I:

Shrug my shoulders when my husband asks, “What’s wrong?” By this point he knows there’s definitely something going on.
Walk out of the room without saying anything after he says something that I don’t like?
Tense up when he touches me in an effort to make amends?

All of those show a heart condition that shows in our body language, which communicates loudly, “leave.me.alone!”.

I’m not saying that how we feel in certain instances aren’t valid.

My question is, is this a habit that is becoming a sin?

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

Now for the verbal in communication.

I want to be kind, sweet, gentle, understanding, give my husband the benefit of the doubt, and open to receive the same from him.

Instead of pointing out possible, or probable negatives in our speech, I want to encourage with the Word of God to stay on guard with our mouths. We need to develop a healthy habit of “biting our tongue” when communicating with our spouse.

I want my husband to know that I value him and our time together. I don’t want to walk through this union not knowing how to properly communicate with him.

If there is something in my heart that’s bitter toward him that is causing me to give him the “cold shoulder” or speaking unkind words to him, I want God to call me out on it, and call it quickly!

Let’s determine to abide with God’s love flowing through us.

Its a great idea to get His Word in our spirit to be able to draw from.

“But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison…praising and cursing comes out of the same mouth. My brothers, these things should not be this way.” James 3:8-10

“And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgement.” Matthew 12:36-37

“The wise in heart will be called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” Proverbs 16:21

“She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4

“The tongue of the righteous is a choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.” Proverbs 10:20

Communication between husband and wife WILL happen at some level; be it negative or positive.

I want to learn to let God help me purify my heart and mouth in communicating with my husband.

Let’s pray:

Lord, I thank You that You have given me the ability to control my actions and my heart, and to do it best with the washing and purifying of Your Holy word.

I know that I will slip at times. Help me to recognize when I need to step back, ask forgiveness, and set things right. I know that there will be times that my actions or reactions may seem justifiable, but let me be mindful to walk in righteousness even when I’ve been wronged.

I want to exude a sweet, loving spirit as I live with my spouse. I want to see them with Your eyes, as Your valued child.

Lord, I want to communicate well. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Comments

Sarah :

March 1, 2013 at 7:48 am

This is a great post, Kela. It makes me think of a question I often ask myself when my husband and I are arguing: what are my motives? The “pouty” examples you mentioned are just that: immature actions that are taking the place of honest and respectful conversation. Thanks for encouraging us to draw our hearts toward the high road!

Blessings,
Mrs. Sarah Coller
Sarah recently posted…Lessons from the Titanic Homemaking Linkup

- Lindsey Clair :
  
  March 1, 2013 at 1:44 pm
  
  Amen! What a blessing! I truly desire this for my husband and I. Thank you for being obedient to God’s Word in what He has to show you for husbands and wives. God is truly faithful.
  
JoAnn :

March 1, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Thank you! Thank you! Exactly what I needed this morning. Definitely a word timely spoken. Pray for me as I strive to be the wife that God has called me to be and that I will practice building with my tongue, actions and attitudes.

Savanna :

March 1, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Thanks, Kela, for sharing such wonderful verses. Just this morning I was reading James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.” The Lord is sending me many reminders today. Thank you for yours!

Have a blessed day,
Savanna Kaiser

Jennifer Sikora :

March 1, 2013 at 7:15 pm

WOW! I love this girl! Right on time My hubby calls this the prostitute phase. When I pout and act like a baby so he will change his mind or whatever to get him over to my side. Thank you for reminding me that my heart and my mouth are connected…Gotta keep a reign on both, right?

((Hugs))

Jennifer
Jennifer Sikora recently posted…Preparing for Homeschool Graduation – What Do I Need for My Child?

Cynthia :

March 1, 2013 at 8:41 pm

This is a great post! I believe women have been conditioned to act pouty and immature when it comes to men. This has to change, if we want to be treated as intelligent women and wives, instead of girls, by our husbands, bosses, or men, in general. In fact, we need to get rid of the pouty attitude, period. Of course, it took me years of observation and prayer to learn how to communicate effectively with my husband. The “growing” period has paid-off. Our marriage is much more balanced and fruitful. When I’m upset, I tell him, without “acting sulky” or refusing to speak to him. How far does that get us, anyway?! Love, patience, communication and prayer are the keys to a great marriage. We must edify each other with our words…the first step in loving each other more deeply. Blessings, Kela!
Cynthia recently posted…The Old Rugged Cross Coaster Winners

Sarah :

March 2, 2013 at 1:40 am

I guess I have a question. A little background first. My husband and I both have Aspergers. So there is already the communication miscues and so on that happen with that in general. I guess II am just trying to figure things out. I said something to my husband one day and he rolled his eyes at me. I gave him a dirty look at turned away. He was confused. So is it that in rolling his eyes his true heart feelings were revealed even though he said something else? I do not know how much you know about aspergers. So I am not sure how much you can say in regards to it. It just seems to me as Aspies are feelings are harder to hide so they are seen more easily. So with that in mind when he rolled his eyes at me is that was what was really in his heart even though his mouth said something else. Because I know he has become very good at lying even to me. He has figured out how to look me in the eye and lie to me. One of our biggest things has been communication. I do my best to be as honest and up front with him as possible. Basically I don’t hide anything on purpose if I don’t tell him something it is either I forgot or didn’t find it something he would find interesting enough to tel him Sorry just trying to figure this out and hoped maybe after reading this I might have some answers

Kela Nellums :

March 2, 2013 at 6:13 am

Thank you all for your encouragement and love!I pray for all of our marriages and am thankful that even the things I write God uses to remake me!
Blessings and love!
Kela Nellums recently posted…Fulfilling Your Vows Launch + My Thoughts

Rebecca :

March 5, 2013 at 4:43 am

Great post Kela!! Very encouraging!!

Mothering From Scratch :

March 5, 2013 at 8:48 pm

{Melinda} Loved that line about how we are always communicating, whether positive or negative. God has been doing a lot of good things in my marriage this year and it started with some difficult but respectful conversations that we had. Healthy, open, but respecful communication can be the first step toward understanding each other better and letting go of resentments and bitterness in certain areas. Such a great post. Congrats on this new gig, Kela! Pinning it!
Mothering From Scratch recently posted…feeling lost? find a mom

- Kela Nellums :
  
  March 6, 2013 at 7:08 pm
  
  I appreciate your encouragement, love, and support!! Amen to being respectful in communication!
  Kela Nellums recently posted…Fulfilling Your Vows Launch + My Thoughts