Have you ever felt that you and your spouse are on totally different pages? Not sure how your approaches to things could be so drastically different? Communication in marriage is essential to building (and maintaining) a strong marriage. We work each and every day to be sure that we’re open and loving in our communication with one another. Through our work we’ve found that it makes us a stronger and happier couple. Here are 5 solid tips for better communication in marriage.
5 Solid Tips for Better Communication in Marriage
1. Put Your Vows First
When communicating with your spouse, it’s important to put your vows above all else. Go into all conversations remembering that this is the man/woman that you vowed to love and cherish for the rest of your life. The words that you use to communicate should exude that love and commitment…even when it isn’t easy. When we feel the heat rising in more challenging communications, we often will take a step back and take a break, only returning to the discussion when we are both calmer.
2. Lead with Your Heart, Not Your Head
Similar to putting your vows first, it’s important that when you go into your communication you don’t come with an agenda of points that you want to drive home. Remember that you and your spouse are a team working on life together. Rather than going into your discussion full of what he/she needs to hear you say, make it less of a monologue and more of a conversation. Leading with your heart, and making decisions as a couple, will make for better communication.
3. Remember that You Come from Different Places
If you’re like us, you and your spouse had very different upbringings. Different traditions, discipline strategies, etc. can make for difficulty when it comes to building life together. Those things that each of you took for granted (as things that all people do) may be new to your significant other. As you and your spouse talk about aspects of your life together, remember that the person he/she is is a direct result of his/her upbringing, just as yours has impacted you. When you communicate, be patient with one another as you will always be two different people who, when bringing your ideas together, will be stronger.
4. Talk about Everything
In our home, each of us has roles that we play: she home schools the kids, he runs the budget , etc. That being said, we talk about everything. We sit down (formally) at least once a week to brief each other on family happenings and to talk about a myriad of other important topics. Though these conversations also happen on the fly, we make a point of sitting down, just the two of us, to communicate with one another about life’s responsibilities and events. Setting a time each week helps us to make sure that we both are on the same page about things relating to our marriage and our family.
5. Don’t Wait to Communicate
If ever you feel that maybe there is something that you should talk about with your spouse, don’t wait. Come up with a time together to chat about what’s on your mind. Whether it’s a concern about something with one of the kids, or a topic that’s been weighing on your heart, talking about it as soon as it comes up will help you to work through it together, as well as help your spouse to not feel that he/she has been kept in the dark while you wait for a better time. While we do have our weekly chats, as mentioned, we also know that when it’s important, our communication with one another is a top priority.
Do you know other solid tips for better communication in marriage? Please share what’s worked for you!