It’s the big elephant that sits in the bedroom of many married couples: lack of intimacy. Do you find yourself struggling (and failing) to make time for your physical relationship? If so, you’re not alone. There are many factors that may play into a couple’s lack of physical connection, causing them to feel disconnected. Here are 7 Ways to bring intimacy back into marriage.
7 Ways to Bring Intimacy Back into Marriage
You and your spouse may have lost most all of your physical connection. It’s easier to yell “bye” on your way out the door than go give him/her a kiss. That basic connection, however, is vital to your physical relationship. Take the extra few seconds and make sure you kiss one another every day.
Work through Exhaustion
Working adults, whether working at home with the kids or in the workforce are often exhausted. This steals the energy that could be focused on intimacy. Work with your spouse to find time for you to get your intimacy back on track. While it may not seem spontaneous at first, finding times when you both have more energy will help you to get into habits of time frames that work best for both of you.
Put Your Focus back on Each Other
Often work and kids cause us to focus our attention on everything but our relationships. We have found that it requires conscious effort to make sure that our primary focus is on each other and our marriage. Once you have reset your focus, it becomes easier for the intimacy to fall naturally back in place.
As with all parts of life, praying together about this way to strengthen your relationship will help you to open yourselves up to God and the guidance that He provides. By praying together, you are making yourselves vulnerable in front of one another and working together to find solutions to this important part of marriage.
Read the Bible Together
Reading the Bible together is another way to bring the intimacy back into your marriage. There are many references, including that in 1 Corinthians: 7, that talk about the physical union of a married couple and how the roles that we take change once you’ve spoken your vows. By reading these words together, it will help you to remember that not only is your physical connection a benefit of marriage; it is also part of it that God intended for us.
Make Your Bedroom Yours
If you’re like us, the kids are always in and out of our bedroom: middle-of-the-night dreams, watching TV, etc. The toys have been known to collect in our room, making it not feel like it is truly a place for us. Setting guidelines with your kids so that they know that your bedroom is off-limits for their toys and TV watching will help it to become a place for you again…one that will serve as your own personal place for retreat and serenity.
Plan Weekend Getaways
When you have kids in the house, finding time for intimacy can be a challenge. Scheduling occasional (but regular) getaways will help you to take a weekend to really focus on one another, your relationship and your connection with each other. Your getaway could be of the more lavish, get on a plane, variety, but it could also mean simply traveling to a nearby hotel or resort. As long as it allows you to focus on each other, it will help you to rejuvenate your relationship.
While the above suggestions will likely take a lot of work, they are well worth the effort in the end. You have to start somewhere right? Don’t let this list of things intimidate you; rather use it as a starting point to set goals together working towards the common goal to bring intimacy back!