8 Habits to Build a Strong Marriage
Does it ever seem to you that some couples just have the marriage thing down to a science? You know the ones…they perfectly balance each other and go through life effortlessly. Chances are that there is more than meets the eye to how they make it seem so easy. As with anything in life the habits that we practice lead to our success. Here are 8 habits that you can add to what you’re already doing to build a strong marriage.
1. Pray Together
God brought us together and, with His help, He’ll help us to grow together. Making it a habit to pray together, whether it be at meal times, just before bed or first thing in the morning (or all of the above) helps us to reconnect with our faith and the foundation of our marriage. It also helps us to stay in-tune with one another’s joys and fears and to be able to discuss them in greater depth.
2. Share Your Dreams
Talking openly about our dreams has taken some practice, but has helped us to keep life fun. We always ask each other the same questions: Where do you see yourselves in the next five or ten years? What are some things that you’ve always wanted to do, but never have? When we talk about the dreams that we have, we make a point of writing them down in a journal so that we can fulfill them, together, over time. We also always write out a family vision setting marriage goals for each new year and this has blessed our marriage tremendously.
3. Devote Time to Your Faith
Similar to praying together, devoting time to our faith helps us to have a solid foundation as we live our daily lives. We always have a favorite daily devotional book to read together in the morning and discuss over coffee. It’s become such a habit that we each have a copy so, in the event that one of us is away, we can chat about it throughout the day. Daily devotional time helps us to grow together, in our faith, as a couple.
4. Put Your Trust into One Another
Trust is paramount to a loving, supportive relationship. Having a marriage of mutual trust will mean that you know your heart is safe with your spouse. We frequently talk about the ways that we know we can trust one another. We discuss other relationships that we see and the less trustworthy parts of them. Then we reflect on how our relationship is different. Time for reflection also helps us to see if there are areas that we need to work on together to help each other feel a greater sense of trust.
Learn how our marriage devotional Consecrated Conversations can help you build trust in your marriage!
5. Give Each Other Some “Me” Time
When you have a complete sense of trust in your spouse (and his/her morals and decisions) it should be no problem to give one another some “Me” time. Whether in the form of a weekend with friends or a night out with the guys, we work to make sure that each of us has some time to ourselves once or twice a month. We find that having some to think about who we are and how we impact our family helps us to be better able to give ourselves, fully, to our relationships.
6. Plan Surprises for Each Other
It’s so easy to get stuck in the momentum of daily life! Both of us make a point of surprising each other every once in awhile. It doesn’t have to be anything big…maybe balloons at the office or a favorite snack bought at the grocery store. Small surprises help us remind each other that we still care and are still interested in making the other happy.
7. Share Your Gratitude for Each Other
Just like it’s easy to get stuck in life’s rhythms, it’s also easy to overlook all that we do for one another. We both work at acknowledging each other and the roles that we play for our family. Showing gratitude can be as simple as a “thank you” or addition during prayer, or as big as a thank you card and flowers. Sharing that you see the work that your spouse does helps him/her to know that you appreciate the part that he/she plays in your life together.
8. Break the “Old Married Couple” Mold
As our marriage goes on, we’ve started identifying with the idea of becoming an “old married couple.” As life gets busy with kids, house and careers, our marriage is easy to set aside. We are committed, however, to breaking that mold! We will go on dates, court each other and make one another feel attractive. …and we will see the time spent as an investment in the relationship that God gave us.
Do you have other habits that help to build a strong marriage? Please share the things that have worked for you!