“Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.” Romans 12:16 (Amplified Version)
One phrase that my husband has started saying before declaring a statement as fact is, “I could be wrong, but…” This means that he recognizes that there could be room for error.
I’ve thought about this as it relates to my relationship with him.
Who doesn’t like to be wrong? There are some that will argue their point into the ground and won’t admit afterward if they’re wrong.
I don’t want to have strife in my marriage. I don’t want to HAVE to be right.
Let’s break down Romans 12:16 as it relates to marriage:
- Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty (snobbish, high minded, exclusive). Harmony is a movement of complementing tones. This can’t happen when there is bitterness and discord. Having to be right causes dissension. “By pride comes nothing but strife.” Prov. 13:10a (NKJV). I can envision noses in the air, fingers wagging, and an ugly scowl on the face. Don’t be that way. It makes a person mean. If you know that you’re absolutely right, do you truly want to throw it in your beloved’s face? A great way to handle it is to wait until the moment passes and come back to it, or better yet…just let it go.
- Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. No one likes a know-it-all. Yep. I said it! But isn’t it true? Leave space for your spouse to have some input. Their opinion may actually be of great value and give wonderful insight. Practice yielding the floor. Respect and honor them enough to stop and carefully listen. “…in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:10b (NKJV)
I used to struggle with admitting when I was wrong and apologizing when I insisted that I was right. I’ve learned to trust that my husband wouldn’t lord it over me when I submitted my haughtiness and turned over conceit.
I’m becoming okay with saying the same thing that my husband says, “I could be wrong, but…”
I love how the Bible is so practical in instructing our daily lives and our conduct in relationships. The commandment to love one another is pretty cut and dry. There are no back doors to that.
Christ takes it a step further than just saying to love each other. Philippians 2:1-4 beautifully expresses the need for pure motives and submission.
There is joy to be gained when harmony and humility are present. Don’t give that up so easily just for the sake of having to be right.
Kela Nellums is an abundantly loved wife, home-educating momma of 6, mom-in-law and blissfully a grandma. Kela is the founder of Pursuing What Is Excellent. She writes about marriage, family, faith and home education. Her favorite things are consuming copious amounts of coffee, reading, singing, playing family games and traveling. Kela can also be found on Facebook, Pinterest , and Twitter.