It was a busy season of life – one where outside responsibilities left little time for anything else. Day in and day out, we served our children, pursued our careers, and tended our home. Each night we collapsed on the couch in two exhausted heaps, weary from the weight of the daily grind and longing for rest.
While we shared a couch and an occasional conversation, we fell into rut of silence after each long day. Over time, the unspoken space left a gaping hole in our relationship. While nothing was truly wrong, our busyness left a void in our relationship and we desperately needed to reconnect.
Like a thief in the night, busyness had eroded the fabric of our marriage. Once a vibrant and passionate couple, our relationship had been worn down by the weight of life’s responsibilities. Fortunately we realized the danger of busyness before it was too late.
How to Protect Your Marriage from Busyness
The road to recovery in our marriage wasn’t easy, but with these simple strategies we were able to make each other a priority once again.
1. Set a time to talk each day.
With the hustle and bustle of life, those days of long, leisurely conversations we experienced while dating were a thing of the past. Instead, we chose to find at least five minutes a day to share our “highs and lows” of the day.
While some day’s conversations were longer than others, we both made it a priority to connect, even if it was by phone or Facetime. We also taught our children not to interrupt our conversation and to respect when we were talking. Setting this routine in place helped us reconnect and share our hearts once again.
2. Make intimacy a priority.
At the end of a long day, it’s easy to put off intimacy over and over again. However, this can cause a deep rift in a relationship; it’s dangerous not to connect physically on a regular basis.
To solve this issue, we started planning our night of intimacy in advance. If we both knew that tonight was the night, we would look forward to it all day. By the time the kids were in bed and it was our time, we were ready for an evening of intimacy.
3. Put down the phone.
Technology can drive a wedge between a couple if safeguards aren’t put in place. Together, create boundaries around your phone and technology usage when you’re together as a family or couple. To keep ourselves fully focused on those around us, we don’t use or answer our phones during dinner; we also limit the time we’re on them when we’re together.
We’ve found that the more we guard our hearts in this area, the more connected we are as a couple.
4. Plan regular dates.
Raising two special needs children means that date nights are few and far between. We have had to get creative with at home dates instead.
We created a Date Night Jar filled with fun and creative stay-at-home date ideas. We take turns planning our next stay-at-home date according to the theme. Some of our favorites include: Spa Night, Blindfolded Taste Test, and a Trip Around the World. With a Date Night Jar, we’ve had many adventures without leaving our living room!
To gather simple ideas for your next home adventure and to get free date night cards for your own jar, read Spice Up Your Marriage with a Date Night Jar.
No matter how busy life may be, you can make your spouse a priority with these simple actions. Most of all, have fun with each other and enjoy reconnecting!
How do you stay connected to your spouse when life is busy?
What systems do you have in place for making your marriage a priority?