Sometimes life just gets plain busy, doesn’t it?
Keeping a home.
Outside ministry involvement.
The to-do lists seem never ending and the responsibilities we carry as women can be quite overwhelming.
Throughout the many years of my marriage comprised of raising and training my children, living through health and financial storms, and being involved in ministry, I’ve needed to learn how to prioritize my number one earthly relationship — my marriage.
5 Habits to Make Marriage a Priority
1. Stay Connected to the One Who Created Marriage.
I have to make sure my relationship with the Lord is thriving. Staying connected and close to Christ nourishes me spiritually, and when I’m thriving in a spiritual sense, all of my other relationships will benefit as a result of this pursuit. I fight hard and I become intentional about protecting this relationship at all costs. Ultimately, the more time I spend with Jesus the more I’ll reflect Him in my marriage.
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. John 15:4 (NLT)
2. Have the Word of God As Your Guide for Life.
When I was a new bride I so desperately wanted to follow the Lord in my marriage. Therefore, I needed to follow a Biblical compass: the Bible. I quickly learned that within the book of Titus, chapter 2:3-5, there was a blueprint written out just for me (and you) in how to do this.
These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. (NLT)
I chose to follow what the Word of God said even though there were statements and concepts in these verses that are very contrary to the ways of this world. But I didn’t really care what the world had to say since I lived those lies for the first 26 years of my life. I was now a new creation in Christ, a born-again believer, and I was going to follow the Bible if it was going to cost me my life!
Since Titus 2:3 mentioned loving your husband before loving your children, right there was an indicator to me that my marital relationship should not be placed on the back burner of my life when my kids entered into the world.
When I became a mom, I soon realized how easily the role of motherhood could consume my every waking (and sometimes sleeping!) moment. I was intentional about not letting my mothering take the place of my marriage, which is not a simple task! But keeping the right, Biblical perspective always helps me to refocus and to make changes to my daily routines.
3. Study Him.
I’ve studied that man of mine for over 16 years now because I want to know what makes him tick. What’s his passion? What’s his love language? What are his spiritual gifts? What irks him? What makes him feel most respected and loved by me? These things haven’t been hard to learn, but they have taken my time and focus. Once I know the answers to these questions, I just try to pursue them, cultivate them, or encourage them in my husband.
4. Intentionally Date Him.
Just because our honeymoon period has ended, this doesn’t mean I need to stop dating my guy. Over the years we’ve had dates ranging from the normal dinner and a movie, to the stay-at-home dates (especially when we had no babysitter), to the dessert dates, to the dates of the two of us just going on an errand. Sometimes we had money to spend on a date and sometimes we didn’t. No matter our financial situation, we sought to spend time with one another, regardless of our circumstances.
5. Say No to Too Many Things.
I find myself saying no to others quite often. It’s not because I want to be mean to them. It’s just that if I say yes to others, I’m also saying no to something else, which is usually my husband or my family. Saying yes to too many requests will most likely cause me to be outside of the will of God because my life will not be in the proper, Biblical order. Ultimately, I’ve learned not to feel guilty over saying no because I know my reasoning for saying it is so my marriage will be a priority.
The reason for making marriage a priority is so the Word of God is not brought to shame. (See Titus 2:5.)
How do you make your marriage a priority? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share below in the comments.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
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Jolene loves Jesus, her husband, and her teen-aged sons. Her heart is to show women how to apply practical and biblical truths that encourage, equip, and inspire them to live a life that is poured out for Christ like the perfume from an Alabaster Jar (Luke 7:37). She’s the author of the bible study and books, Wives of the Bible and How to Create a Christ-Centered Christmas for Your Kids. She is also the founder of Christian Wife University, a site dedicated to teaching wives how to have a thriving, Christ-centered marriage.